Wedding Invitation Etiquette How-to
Writing out the wording on your invitation is not as simple as it sounds. There are familial sensitivities to maintain, addressing protocol to follow, and a host of other seemingly simple details that can lead to some offended sentiments. The invitation is the very first glimpse people will have into your wedding, and you don’t want to start off with your guests on the wrong foot.
Follow the protocol for inviting the right people to your occasion. For instance, couples who are together, whether they are married, engaged or living together will have to be invited. In the case of a married couple or a couple living together, a single invitation will be mailed to the same address. If they are living apart, two separate invites to their respective addresses is the proper way to do it.
If you’re inviting single people, allowing them to bring a guest is a thoughtful gesture. Don’t feel pressured to do this, though. If a single invitee asks if he can bring a guest, you don’t have to say yes. Just make it clear politely that there will not be enough seating arrangements for more guests.
You’re not obliged to invite out of town guests, and some people simply send them wedding announcements to spare them the expense of sending a gift. This might be construed the wrong way. The bottom line – invite your close friends and family even if they live out of town.
If you’d rather not have kids at your wedding, you don’t have to come right out and say it. Just mention the name of the couple on the invite. If they mention the names of their kids on the response card, call them personally and tell them kids are not allowed at the wedding. If you do decide not to invite kids, make sure you follow this for all the guests. Your own siblings and first cousins may be allowed to bring their kids, but other guests should not be invited to bring children, no matter how much they pressure you. You risk offending those who left their kids behind because of your request.
Brides and grooms whose parents are divorced have a whole other protocol to follow. In such cases, it s always taken for granted that the mother has gone back to her maiden name after the divorce and her name is always mentioned first. For instance, if the groom’s parents are co hosting the wedding, the invite should read “Ms. So and So (mother’s name), Mr. So and So (father’s name) Ms So and So (Stepmother’s name), and Mr. So and So (step father’s name) invite you to the wedding of their son…. “and so on.
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